i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
