oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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