I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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