so that wasnt chicken after all
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
