So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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