I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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