i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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