I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
