Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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