Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
