I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
