Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
