Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
