oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
