I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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