I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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