im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
