What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
