Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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