I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
