I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
