a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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