he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
