I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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