i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
