How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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