is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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