cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
