Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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