there was a trapeze. enough said
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
