Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
