Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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