he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize