so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
