he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
