Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
