dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
