remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
