i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
