i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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