used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
