you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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