How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
