Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
