I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
