I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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