Swine flu. Run for my life!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
