I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
