i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just high enough for therapy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
