what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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