Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
