Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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