So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
