dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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