i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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