Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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