Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
