I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize