the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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