I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
