I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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