I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
