I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
