It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
