passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
