Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think my fart just growled at me.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In other news, I just burned my penis
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
